Put Me In, Coach: Strategies to Prepare for Success with Extra-Curricular Activities

Occupational Therapy Corner
Ashley Wagner, OTD, OTR/L, Director of Occupational Therapy at FamilyForward

Occupational therapists (OTs) specialize in problem-solving how clients can successfully participate in various activities. Yet, when it came to figuring out how to best support my son in finding an activity outside of school, I was stumped! We tried music lessons—too much structure, not enough play. We tried soccer—too many strangers at games. We even tried puppet club—okay, this one was a success, but only once we convinced the leader to let our son stay behind the curtain for the entire final show. It wasn’t until I used my OT lens and started considering which aspects of activities would best fit my son’s comfort zone and which would require further advocacy or problem-solving that I could take some of the stress out of after-school activities for our family.

Extracurricular opportunities like sports, music lessons, and clubs can provide important moments for children to build relationships, see how others handle stress and frustration, and learn about new skills or interests. However, unlike intentionally therapeutic groups like those offered at FamilyForward, extracurricular activities through schools or community centers pose the risk of not always providing the inclusive, trauma-informed environment that kids at FamilyForward sometimes need to be successful.

So, what can we do to give our kids a better shot at successfully participating in extracurricular activities to reap the benefits of those structured social enrichment opportunities? There’s no one right way to approach after-school activities for your family, but perhaps the suggestions below from our FamilyForward OT team can provide some reassurance or offer new strategies to try:

1. Call Ahead
   • Call or email the activity leader before signing the child up or before the first activity session.
   • The goal of this discussion isn’t to demand things be done in a certain way, but to start the collaboration process and figure out if the activity leader is willing to work with you on problem-solving for your child or teen’s success.
   • The leader might avoid some of the biggest frustrations and stressors by planning for situations ahead of time.
2. Create a List of What The Can Expect
   • Consider what your child or teen can expect from this activity (e.g., Will they go in without you? Will they be indoors, in water, or in leotards? Will there be downtime or strict routines?).
   • Highlight 2 or 3 aspects that your child or teen will excel at or that will feel good to their bodies.
   • Highlight 2 or 3 aspects of the activity that might not feel as good to them or that you might need to problem-solve with them for success or comfort (Note: this can include family barriers like time, transportation, etc.).
   • Keep your list objective and ensure that the number of barriers and benefits is equal so the child doesn’t perceive it as you trying to sway them.
   • Use this list to help them decide which activities are right for them or to prepare for activities once they’ve signed up.
3. Prepare Your Child or Teen – Have multiple, short discussions before the activity related to the following topics:
   • Consider what your child or teen can expect from this activity (e.g., Will they go in without you? Will they be indoors, in water, or in leotards? Will there be downtime or strict routines?).
   • Highlight 2 or 3 aspects that your child or teen will excel at or that will feel good to their bodies.
   • Highlight 2 or 3 aspects of the activity that might not feel as good to them or that you might need to problem-solve with them for success or comfort (Note: this can include family barriers like time, transportation, etc.).
   • Keep your list objective and ensure that the number of barriers and benefits is equal so the child doesn’t perceive it as you trying to sway them.
   • Use this list to help them decide which activities are right for them or to prepare for activities once they’ve signed up.
4. Use Your FamilyForward Team – Pull us in to navigate these conversations and help plan for success!